1. |
In the Water
04:58
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I’m chasing a dream
I’ve been dipping in holy water
for this feeling that’s been pitched to me
Every time I taste from this river that's been
and gone from vestiges of milk and honey covered expenditures
supplemented by the chemical runoff making its way through rural New Zealand
But was it always in the water?
This vaccination doesn't let me see myself
Doesn't let me see that the border crossings
weren't made in the name or the names of someone else
In my own home province I am the king
In my own home province I will remain
Tasting the swirling of flavours passed on from mother’s linear fray
Waters rising, tides are shifting
In my protection, I ignore decision
In my protection I enjoy my living
With the ruse that I’m made for this endless giving
If my only protection is my ignorance
then maybe I could die as a happy man
Then maybe I could die as a proud man
Then I could die with no hands raised in demand
But was it always in the water?
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2. |
I Fell In Love Today
03:17
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I fell in love today with another girl from the big screen
She was beautiful
And I imagined when she might make a film down here
And I would bump into her at a café
And make her laugh
And pretend like I don’t know her
And hope she won’t ever notice that I’ve been liking her Instagram for the past year
And a half
along with all her other thousands of followers
And out of all the scum bags in this world
She’d seem to like my joke enough
To let me be her tour guide for just one day
And I’d take her up Mount Eden
And out to Muriwai to watch the gannets fly
And we’d walk through the Domain
And make a picnic and I’d pray the day would never end
Oh what a day, Oh what a day we’d have
And she’d see something in me that none of my friends can see,
Or none of the girls that have ever been in my life
And we’d watch her films til sunrise and they’d make us cry
And we’d talk sitting out on my front porch about our lives
and I can’t believe my eyes
and I can’t believe that the stars would align
And I can’t believe what would transpire
as a balloon swelling up
my head bouncing with all the others online
tasting the nectar of beautiful lives
well far removed from mine
with the swelling clotting my mind
as the clock reads 2am
Voyeuring my way into another sad year
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3. |
Being
02:58
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Please please believe
I once never ever wanted to be
This man who I now happen to see
Looking deeply, mirrored dimly from my own infamy
And I’m a fashionate sort
Who can swing a few lines to avoid retort
To lend me a lever, hold my doubt
To live in the moment, and not worry it out
I’m still searching for a lever…
I’m a hungry man,
I’m hungry to belong somewhere
To sit in my being preceding believing,
behaving, and all waging, all disgracing
The wages of my sin…
The wages of my sin…
Let the wages of my sin… be …
I’m one for the ruse if the ruse ain’t on me
But how can I know when it just won’t reveal
The person I am in relation to life
This life in the blood, this blood that ain’t mine
This “ain’t mine” I don’t know, if knowing’s for sure
The gods of the Greeks, all comfy withdrawn
Up in the clouds away from the flow
Up where knowing never really did know
But what’s to know?
What’s really to know?
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4. |
Adieu
05:15
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I dropped the keys to my own land
It was sort of intentional
I let them drop from my own hands
I let them drop to the great expanse
Where I'm alright with you
I'm alright in the dark
In the dark I found a place to bloom
with you
I pray to move
From my own
For my own is only my own
And it's not a place for me forever
That’s why I pray for the response
Where you call and I open up myself
Like that time when you were alone and I met you and told you that home was not too far from here
And we walked into the night down the sides of city street lights
And we lost our way somewhere between the lights from distant glare
And I found a response that was something unexpected
A responding anxiety that moves me
To a place where the mirror
No longer illuminates a picture of the same
I'm longing to be
Where you may be
Where the longing
Gives way to a space
Where you can sit
And I can stand
As a standing under
In understanding
For I refuse, I refuse to lord it over
Oh God I pray those days are over
Oh God I pray those days are through
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