1. |
Self Rejection
02:08
|
|
||
|
Self-rejection
So here I am back again
in the place where my conscience is dead
I count the days but the seasons play games
where it's cold as the desert hot as the snow
and I'm feeling the ebb and flow
hollow halo on my head
hollow telos keeps me bled
please don't tell my father of what I've done
can't you see my breath is getting thin in my lungs
it's me on repeat barking up another dead end telos
I've crossed the line on this one
I've gone too far on this one
yet we do it we do
why do we do these things to each other
as if we thought we could win
words won't make right and actions the same
these feelings of guilt bleed into haunts of shame
In waterfalls of our condemnation
I've crossed the line on this one
I've gone too far on this one
yet we do it we do
why do we write these stories for each other
in which to live out our fears
in the space of self-rejection
I've rejected the other in you
|
||||
2. |
Hibernaculum
02:28
|
|
||
|
Hibernaculum
In your red fur cap you hide away
in your red fur cap you shield the pain
you take the covering and try to encase the innocence
but it's lost within the covering
as the fear creates the separation
as the fear creates the hibernaculum
you walk the city in prejudice
to the hum of your own tune
you can't keep out what's within
you can't protect yourself
as the fear creates the hibernaculum
given over to the hibernaculum was when love became dissolved
in the breakdown of the fearless within and without
then you felt there was something in your belly growing bleeding out
birthing the pangs of the dead in you
you couldn’t cope to look out
alexithymia
in your eyes and through your touch and in your mouth
filling the doubt
filling the doubt
filling the absence
within and without
it gets hard when you can no longer hear your name
beneath the folds of this fur cap
|
||||
3. |
Purging
03:02
|
|
||
|
Purging
From my perception
there is something inside of me
that longs to make the purge of
what it is I can't account for manifesting
there's a build up through my desire
causing tension
that won't give in til someone takes the blame
and someone walks the shame
to deflect myself
to distance the messy grey
it's always easier to point the blame
it's always easier to deflect the blame
and it's the story I've lived by
and it's the story I've bought time and time again
to disassociate my participation
in all our purging and endless dirges
to renounce the pain
to renounce the shame
|
||||
4. |
Placebo
02:00
|
|
||
|
Placebo
I've distanced myself from myself from the world
reminding that I'm never too far
from forgetting these sugar pills in all of this stuff
endless illusions of never enough
and never too far for just round the corner
will come the latest deferral
I'm swimming in sugar pills resting on sugar pills
and they're resting all the way down
my body reacts the same but my desire always returns me to
the tasting of endless deferral through endless rehearsals
of some other worldly dream of perfection
drawing me to my lack of acceptance
which cultivates the distancing
when will I when will I ever give up
this carrot that sits out in front
always just out of reach
|
||||
5. |
Convolution
02:09
|
|
||
|
Convolution
And when you said that you weren't coming back for me
my body tightened
and I couldn't move to the breath of the air in my lungs
and the words you said and the instant distance
and the turn of colours into blacks and greys
oh what a convolution
and the bile in my stomach forms a pile of discarded memories
tightened in a convoluted sense of vague haze
of what was and the effects of what could've been
but that's just what ifs and so it goes
and so I throw myself at the mercy of time and the space of blood cells
and body tissue to do their thing and mend this convolution
here's the urge to be whole again
here's the urge to arrest the convolution
that these things never fill the holes but how often we return to them
within the convolution
|
||||
6. |
Mirrors
02:22
|
|
||
|
Mirrors
Verging on pass out in the passenger seat
for a night she never wanted
yet deep in herself she knows that this is a cold imitation
of truly knowing she’s wanted
she never heard those words from daddy
that all little girls long to hear
or feel his embrace to let her know
that she’s his cherished princess
instead she feels the embrace of a strange man
in a strange place with a strange sense
that this won’t be the last time
instead she feels the embrace of a strange man
in a strange place with a strange sense
that this won’t be the last time
she chases the hopes of ever knowing that she is beloved
it’s in the mirror where she met her mise en abyme
her self-rejection played out reflections
through endless toasts to the creature gods
propping up our world of comparative games
as she looks and peers and calls
on words on words on words on words of love
which couldn’t lift her eyes above
and so she feels the embrace …
|
||||
7. |
Distance
02:07
|
|
||
|
Distance
Distance establishes home in the space of the between
on a train miles away
looking across at unfamiliar faces stories places
that possess the power to conjure up an openness
to the ordinary of which I've become well accustomed to
the closest things need a separation
to remind what one has from what one does not
distance establishes home in the space of the between
in your eyes there's a distance that works itself in me
speaking words of everything we're not is everything I cling to
and everything that clings to me
a hopeless wandering for some
becomes a hopeful beckoning for me
to believe that there's something more
in this open space of the between
|
||||
8. |
Procrustean
02:35
|
|
||
|
Procrustean
Did you not stop to think of anyone but yourself
cos you do that
you make it all about yourself
and I guess these words mean nothing to you
that the world it doesn't revolve
around your little head
no matter how much you'd like to train it to
you're not the cornerstone
and could I say that any louder
you're not the cornerstone
so you can taste these words right from my mouth
and I can go to bed without the thought of all your pushing and pulling
and making me less something
when our tongues keep moving to the feeding of our frustration
there won't be any space left here between us
|
||||
9. |
Polarities
02:13
|
|
||
|
Polarities
You're so quick to take your side
as if these poles were not aligned
and I keep asking
is there no bridge to rectify
cos somehow we need both sides
you said you felt it in yourself
and your emotions moved you
and I can't argue with your prejudice
but I won't settle for less than hearing
the other that constitutes you
polarities open me to the other unseen unheard
amidst the greys
outside of pendulum turns restrained
I'm disposed to the open
in the place of listening to learn
something I didn't know
cos at the end of the day
you've never got the last word
|
||||
10. |
Structures
03:18
|
|
||
|
Structures
is this the blackness
is this the blindness
is this the ending
somewhere in the depths of me
is this the meaningless
the remainder after structures
subside into the breeze
I'm coming down off the structures
all the structures
all the structures
to give us meaning
towards the fleeting
but we're still bleeding
cos we forgot
just how high we'd got
and we resigned
to this old backdrop
with eyes veiled
into the pale
but I’m still praying for colour
to illuminate beyond these structures
I'm coming down off the structures
|
||||
If you like Te Kooti Brotherhood, you may also like:
Sinister Feeling
by Sinister Feeling
featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 29, 2024
go to album
This Is All We Ever Get
by SPACED
Knockout debut from a Buffalo, New York-based hardcore band who like their riffs sick, their drums fast, and their choruses sticky-sweet.
go to album
Chaotic metalcore invoking early 2000s bands like Converge and Curl Up and Die.
go to album
Insect Immortality
by Angel Hair
A necessary reissue of everything venerated hardcore band Angel Hair ever released, with breakneck time signatures that turn on a dime.
go to album
All Of Heaven's Luck
by Rejoice
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 5, 2024
go to album
Escape From New York
by Cash Bribe
New York hardcore meets classic thrash metal meets Jane's Addiction-esque alternative on the Brooklyn crushers' sensational debut.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Dec 8, 2023
go to album
